We all keep things bottled up inside, sometimes for years. This can be especially true in grief, where the things we said or didn’t say, do or didn’t do involving the person we have loved and lost can leave us struggling to move forward. We may feel hopeless or ashamed, that it’s too late to make a difference, or that we are an awful person for the secret we hold. Often when we can share these trapped secrets we breathe an immense sigh of relief – simply because it has been said and is no longer festering in the dark within us.
Most of us have grief secrets – and a great website called What’s Your Grief recently invited it’s users to anonymously share their grief secrets – the sort of secrets we hold but can’t imagine someone knowing but wish we could express. I have taken some of these from their site to share with you – but beware some of them are difficult:
I know that sharing a secret doesn’t magically fix everything. It might make you feel great and enable you to process and end it – but often facing, naming and sharing it can just be the first step.
Counselling is a place that can offer complete confidentiality and a safe space for the secrets you hold to be shared in the company of a trained professional who not only will not judge you or ask invasive questions, but who will stay alongside you while you share the secrets that have been dragging you down.