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Counselling and Psychotherapy in Stafford

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Did you say the ‘misery’ of Christmas??!!

The misery of Christmas is on its way. Whoops! Did I say misery?? Isn’t Christmas about sparkly lights, smiling faces, bringing joy, happiness and community spirit? Misery? Really?? Yes, Christmas can be about all these wonderful things. It can be the happiest time of year, rekindling cherished childhood memories of a time that creates joy…

Get the mindset to beat your anxiety

Our natural tendency is to run away from things that scare us or make us feel anxious. It’s a survival response developed by our brains over thousands of years – but it isn’t helpful to us in the modern world. For example we can’t simply run away from that difficult client or the cliquey set…

The problem with positive thinking

Surely there can’t be any ‘problem’ with positive thinking? Isn’t it better than negative thinking? And don’t we hear all the time that it is good to think positively and we should do it more often? Well, yes and no. Research has found that when you set yourself a goal, for example losing weight, planning…

You make me so angry!!

We all get angry from time to time, but when it features regularly in our close relationships, it may be time to take a closer look at it. Quite often we resort to anger when we are feeling anxiously out of control. Anger can be a ‘quick and dirty’ fix for our emotional distress. Anger…

People would think I was terrible if they knew this…

We all keep things bottled up inside, sometimes for years. This can be especially true in grief, where the things we said or didn’t say, do or didn’t do involving the person we have loved and lost can leave us struggling to move forward. We may feel hopeless or ashamed,  that it’s too late to…

Dealing with people who give you the silent treatment

‘But I didn’t say anything!’ So many arguments start. Not all silences start arguments or make arguments worse. Some silences between people can be comfortable companionship between people who know one another well, where nothing needs to be said. Where talking isn’t needed and just being there is enough. Sometimes there can be a difference…

But isn’t anxiety a really complicated thing to sort out?

Many clients come to me at their wits end without too much hope that they can finally get peace from the anxiety with which they have struggled for so long – often for years on end. They fear that their anxiety is too complicated to sort out. This is a really normal thing to think…

Have your New Year Resolutions fallen flat already…?

If your NY resolutions have already fallen by the wayside, then you’re not alone – apparently 80% of us are in the same boat by the time February rolls round. The top  failed resolutions (says Google) are: Lose weight, eat healthier, get fit Quit smoking / drinking Learn something new Spend more time with family…

Christmas – the bitter sweet cocktail

From the extreme of saccharine sweet sentimental supermarket TV ads through to the other extreme telling us of the misery and loneliness many less fortunate than us will suffer this Christmas… Christmas is often portrayed as a tale of two halves. But in reality, most of us lie somewhere in the middle of these two…

What’s the use in counselling if there are things in your life you just can’t change?

There are so many things in our life that are out of our control – whether it’s the weather or the traffic, politics, the past, the illness of ourselves or a loved one, a bullying manager, difficult partners, children and other family members – we don’t have a magic wand to make them change or…

Sleep problems? Join the club no one wants to be in.

Sleeplessness is a horrible thing that can wreak havoc on our lives. A lack of sleep affects how we feel emotionally and physically and how we behave. If you struggle with sleeplessness then you are not alone and belong to a club with many members – about 25% of us in the UK are currently…

The raging bull of anxiety

I heard a great description of anxiety the other day – from someone who has struggled with anxiety since their teens but didn’t start talking about it till their 20s : “The feeling of anxiety itself, I describe it as like riding a bull, and the bull is your nervous system. And you’re just trying…

Bolster! Bolster!

Bolster:  definition to ‘boost, strengthen, reinforce, encourage, sustain.’ Watching the movie Mama Mia! the other day (a film I find simultaneously terrible yet irresistible) I was struck by a scene where one of the characters, Sophie, is struggling with relationship problems. Her two friends have very different styles of helping her through this. One friend…

Is your ladder against the wrong wall?

A character in a movie I was watching just recently came out with a really powerful line that is relevant to all of our lives. As a highly successful business man he was at a large conference table full of business people, negotiating a multi-million pound contract that would make him significantly richer than he…

Summertime depression is a real thing

Most of us have heard of winter depression – SAD or Seasonal Affective Disorder. But as the word ‘seasonal’ suggests, it isn’t just in winter that our mood can be affected to the point where we feel down or depressed. Summer time depression is a recognised thing. In fact, the nearer the equator you go,…

Why the RNLI ‘Float to stay alive’ can also make for great counselling advice

The Royal National Lifeboat Institution (RNLI) today launched its national drowning prevention campaign to Respect The Water. The campaign urges people, should they fall unexpectedly into cold water, to understand what is happening in their body and to try and take action which may initially appear counter-intuitive: Take a minute. The initial effects of cold water…

5 tips to manage your anxiety

Anxiety is extremely common – and drains your energy, focus and motivation. You may or may not have panic attacks and phobias, but you may feel overtaken by a sense of fear or impending doom. You will feel unable to help yourself or face things calmly. You may be experiencing a range of anxiety symptoms…

“Honey, this is out of our league” – friends or professional counselling?

Making the decision to seek professional help for your stress, anxiety or depression is a big one. Quite often it happens not out of a proactive choice, but simply because we have exhausted our other options – and what normally works to help us sort out our problems is no longer working. But when do…

How can you make your New Year Resolutions stick?

According to a recent article in New Scientist, only 10 per cent of new year resolutions will survive the whole year. It’s hardly a surprise to most of us…haven’t we all taken out an ill-fated gym membership / committed to Dry January only to fall at the first weekend after the first January-blues week /…

‘Tis the season to be jolly?

  There is enormous pressure for us all to have a wonderful time at Christmas and New Year. But for many of us, especially those of us who struggle with addictions and unhealthy dependencies, it is fair to say that our mental health takes a turn for the worse. Just when our body clocks are…

But other people have bigger problems than me…

One of the things that often stops us seeking counselling is that we feel that our problems are insignificant compared to the suffering of those we feel have bigger problems than us. We tell ourselves that we should be grateful for what we have, that others are much worse off than us, that we are…

On With My Life Counselling and Psychotherapy is born!

I am so pleased to bring to you On With My Life  counselling service. And also surprised – in a pleasant sort of way – because On With My Life (or OWML) hasn’t been born of any grand ambitious entrepreneurial plan (though there’s certainly nothing wrong with those!)  but sparked and spluttered into life 7…

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