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People would think I was terrible if they knew this…

We all keep things bottled up inside, sometimes for years. This can be especially true in grief, where the things we said or didn’t say, do or didn’t do involving the person we have loved and lost can leave us struggling to move forward. We may feel hopeless or ashamed,  that it’s too late to…

Dealing with people who give you the silent treatment

‘But I didn’t say anything!’ So many arguments start. Not all silences start arguments or make arguments worse. Some silences between people can be comfortable companionship between people who know one another well, where nothing needs to be said. Where talking isn’t needed and just being there is enough. Sometimes there can be a difference…

But isn’t anxiety a really complicated thing to sort out?

Many clients come to me at their wits end without too much hope that they can finally get peace from the anxiety with which they have struggled for so long – often for years on end. They fear that their anxiety is too complicated to sort out. This is a really normal thing to think…

Have your New Year Resolutions fallen flat already…?

If your NY resolutions have already fallen by the wayside, then you’re not alone – apparently 80% of us are in the same boat by the time February rolls round. The top  failed resolutions (says Google) are: Lose weight, eat healthier, get fit Quit smoking / drinking Learn something new Spend more time with family…

Christmas – the bitter sweet cocktail

From the extreme of saccharine sweet sentimental supermarket TV ads through to the other extreme telling us of the misery and loneliness many less fortunate than us will suffer this Christmas… Christmas is often portrayed as a tale of two halves. But in reality, most of us lie somewhere in the middle of these two…

What’s the use in counselling if there are things in your life you just can’t change?

There are so many things in our life that are out of our control – whether it’s the weather or the traffic, politics, the past, the illness of ourselves or a loved one, a bullying manager, difficult partners, children and other family members – we don’t have a magic wand to make them change or…

Sleep problems? Join the club no one wants to be in.

Sleeplessness is a horrible thing that can wreak havoc on our lives. A lack of sleep affects how we feel emotionally and physically and how we behave. If you struggle with sleeplessness then you are not alone and belong to a club with many members – about 25% of us in the UK are currently…

The raging bull of anxiety

I heard a great description of anxiety the other day – from someone who has struggled with anxiety since their teens but didn’t start talking about it till their 20s : “The feeling of anxiety itself, I describe it as like riding a bull, and the bull is your nervous system. And you’re just trying…

Bolster! Bolster!

Bolster:  definition to ‘boost, strengthen, reinforce, encourage, sustain.’ Watching the movie Mama Mia! the other day (a film I find simultaneously terrible yet irresistible) I was struck by a scene where one of the characters, Sophie, is struggling with relationship problems. Her two friends have very different styles of helping her through this. One friend…

Is your ladder against the wrong wall?

A character in a movie I was watching just recently came out with a really powerful line that is relevant to all of our lives. As a highly successful business man he was at a large conference table full of business people, negotiating a multi-million pound contract that would make him significantly richer than he…